Monday, July 28, 2008

Burn Out

I'm feeling the burn. In the nearly 8 years since I first took up the heavy glass, I'm seriously thinking of trading in my press pass.

I think this has also been reflected in my blogging, or lack thereof. I just haven't had the heart to pour onto these pixelated pages. It could be the feeling that I'm swimming in quicksand in my current position. All I know is that I've pretty much hit a ceiling that seems quite solid. I've also found in myself more than the usual amount of bitterness towards the job. I don't like that.

I'm not expecting to feel like I did when I first started. Everything was fresh and new and I could revel in learning everything about how the job was done. I'm not finished learning; I wouldn't presume to think that I know everything. I just think that I'm not able to apply what I know to the fullest extent, due to certain circumstances beyond my control. I'm finding other branches of knowledge from which to pluck fruit, but those avenues are dead ends unless I can apply them to my daily work.

Through the twilight under the smoke a ray of light shone through today. KD just returned from the UNITY conference and made a point of telling me about her trip. It would seem that she brought a few stories along to go critiquing. She got good marks on her writing and the way the stories were put together, but what she wanted to pass on to myself, and the other photog who worked with her on one of them, was the way everyone who saw the stories raved about how well they were shot. It's nice to know that someone, other than your friends and family, notices and appreciates good work.

It also helps that this praise comes from a news director in Philadelphia, the fourth largest market in the country.

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